ionohelix › secretsbest

tokyosluts: thegoddamazon: laughingfish: inflateablefilth: theodorepython: miami-tea: The Defibrillator Toaster My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!” “DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!” He’s bread, Jim. Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!  JESUS CRUST. JAM IT! “Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.” I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS HES BREAD JIM BEST PUNS EVER. HE’S BREAD, JIM. LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO TUMBLR IS KILLING ME TODAY omfg

This is no joke, it really happened in my first responder class today

My EMR instructor: You arrive at a scene with a patient laying on the ground. You check their level of alertness and they appear unconscious. You have already opened their airway with an adjunct and are administering oxygen.
What do you do next?
Student: Call 911!
My EMR Instructor: YOU ARE 911.

sapphosghost ‹ struckbylux

mailordermind ‹ feeltheinside

Have you ever met someone IRL and thought…

annieelainey:

you sound like you have a tumblr.

vsquaredk › fredflare

fredflare: Reblog this post - ONLY once per blog! - and then you’re entered to win… a dozen donuts?? Yes, once again fredflare.com is gonna overnight you a dozen donuts from my fave NYC spot The Doughnut Plant. And, what the heck, I’m also gonna throw in a $50 gift certificate to fredflare.com I’ll pick winner on 2/10. Good luck! xo, Keith

alfredoestrada › mochacafe

mochacafe: via otakulei

virtus › virtus

tomboystyle › virginiabelle

thedrunkenmoogle › thedrunkenmoogle

thedrunkenmoogle: Charmander, Charmeleon, Charizard (Pokemon Cocktails) Ingedients:Charmander-1 splash of grenadine1 oz Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey.5 oz Bacardi 151 Charmeleon-1 spash of grenadine,1 splash of scotch1 oz Fireball Cinnamon WhiskeyFill with ginger ale Charizard- 2 oz Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey2 splashes of grenadine2 splash of scotch1.5 ounces Bacardi 151Fill with ginger ale  Directions: For the Charmander shot, pour a slash of grenadine into the bottom of a shot glass. Add the Fireball, then top with the Bacardi 151. Light it on fire, then extinguish before drinking.  For the Charmeleon cocktail, mix all the alcoholic ingredients and then pour over ice in a lowball glass. Top with ginger ale.   For the Charizard drink, Mix all of the alcoholic ingredients, pour into a highball glass and top with ginger ale.  If you plan on lighting the Charizard on fire, add the Bacardi 151 last, after the ginger ale, on top of everything else.  As always, be careful with flames and don’t try to drink flaming cocktails while still on fire! Fire burns people and stuff and faces. These drinks scream fire, from the cinnamon punch, to the smoky scotch aftertaste.  Get your team ready and go hit up Cinnabar Island.  This night is for fire!Check out our other Bulbasaur, Ivysaur, and Venusaur cocktails, as well as our Squirtle, Wartortle, and Blastoise cocktails.  (Drink created and photographed by The Drunken Moogle.)